i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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