The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
