so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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