they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
