I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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