You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
