That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
