I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
