she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
