just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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