Your dad touched me again.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
