we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
