O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
