Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
