The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
