Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize