honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
