Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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