these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
