So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
