apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
