Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
