I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
