Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
