Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
