We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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