This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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