New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Everything about him screamed your future.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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