Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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