Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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