Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
