God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just googled if crying burns calories
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
