also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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