That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just had sex on a roof
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
