I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
