u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
