are you still at the devil's house?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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