No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize