i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
