how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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