i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
No subtext here. People are naked.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
