I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
