last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
