He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
