Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
