I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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