Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
