A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
