Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He kissed a someone with a penis
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
