this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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