We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
