going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
