so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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