We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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