he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
