we have officially lost it.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
