I'm going to jail i love you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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