nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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