I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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