drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
