oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
