I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
