It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
