Where is the hickey?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize