I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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