i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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