He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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