if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize