never play flip cup with pint glasses
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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