i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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