We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
