just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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