I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
