He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
