I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
