were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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